Chapter 14 - Mother’s version of protection
Mom’s apology took months to improve.
First:
“I thought I was protecting your marriage.”
No.
Second:
“I thought Daniel needed stability.”
Dangerous.
Third:
“I was afraid of losing both daughters.”
Closer.
The useful one came during family therapy.
“I knew Mike had a daughter with another woman while he was married to Claire.”
There.
“I chose not to tell Claire because I believed divorce would hurt Daniel.”
Daniel was not present.
Good.
Then:
“I decided I had more right than Claire to determine what truth she could handle.”
There.
Mom cried.
“I also suspected Naya’s affair with Mike and did not confront it honestly because I was afraid if I sided with Claire, Naya would leave me.”
The therapist asked:
“So what did you do?”
“I tried to keep both daughters close by withholding whatever would force a choice.”
Exactly.
“What was the consequence?”
Mom looked at me.
“They stopped trusting me.”
Yes.
She continued:
“And I taught Naya that Claire’s marriage was negotiable if the family could survive the scandal.”
That was harder.
I had never phrased it that way.
Neither had she.
I said:
“You made secrecy feel like care.”
Mom nodded.
“Yes.”
That became the sentence.
She did not cause Mike’s affairs.
Did not cause Naya’s choices.
May you like
She built shelter around them.
Different.
