Chapter 8 - Diane’s version of love
Diane gave a long statement to DCF.
She did not deny slapping Lily.
She called it:
“An impulsive correction.”
Then:
“I was raised with spanking.”
Caroline:
“Lily is two.”
“I know.”
“Did Emma authorize physical discipline?”
“No.”
“Did Mark?”
Diane hesitated.
“He told me to use my judgment.”
There.
Mark denied authorizing hitting.
Then Diane said:
“I love that child.”
I believed her.
That complicated nothing legally.
Love does not turn a slap into something else.
Then prior medication incident.
Six months earlier Lily had a cold.
Diane gave her an over-the-counter nighttime antihistamine because Lily would not sleep.
Dose?
According to Diane, within package range.
But our pediatrician had not recommended it, and some such medications aren't advised for toddlers. Lily became unusually sleepy but recovered with no injury.
We called pediatrician.
No ER needed.
I told Diane:
Never give medicine again without permission.
Then told Mark:
No unsupervised caregiving.
He agreed.
Diane thought the boundary was insulting.
Text to Mark:
Your wife treats me like a criminal over cold medicine.
Mark:
Give it time.
Not:
She’s right.
Then DCF asked:
“Did you know Emma believed you were not caring for Lily alone?”
“Yes.”
“Why agree?”
“Because Mark is Lily’s father too.”
There.
Diane saw parental disagreement as a tie Mark could break privately.
Then food.
She denied withholding meals.
Camera supported mostly normal feeding.
The sausage slap occurred because Lily reached before Diane finished cutting food.
Absurd.
Diane said Lily had been “grabbing all morning.”
No safety emergency.
Then why slap face instead of hand?
“I lost patience.”
Good.
Not a lesson.
Loss of control.
Then my kick.
Diane wanted charges.
Police forwarded all video to prosecutor.
Prosecutor reviewed defense-of-others law.
No immediate decision.
Diane’s attorney argued:
Emma had alternatives.
Could have stepped away.
Could have blocked.
The kick sent Diane into furniture.
True.
My lawyer argued:
Diane had just struck a toddler and advanced toward Emma holding child.
One brief forceful separation.
No continued attack.
Weeks later, prosecutor declined to charge me.
Reason:
Evidence insufficient to prove unlawful force beyond reasonable doubt given immediate defense-of-child context.
Not:
The kick was perfect.
Not:
Violence okay.
Insufficient criminal case.
Diane called it favoritism.
Then her own charge.
Prosecutor filed misdemeanor assault/battery involving a child and a child-endangerment-related count? For one slap, likely simple assault/battery and maybe child cruelty depending state. Let's keep:
Misdemeanor assault on a minor.
No felony.
No aggravated injury.
Diane pleaded not guilty.
Then family court.
She requested supervised grandparent contact.
Lily was two.
Could she express preference reliably?
Limited.
Behavior mattered.
When shown a photograph of Diane by child therapist, Lily turned away and said:
“No Grandma.”
Not permanent.
Current.
Court denied contact for now.
Diane’s response:
“Emma has poisoned her.”
No evidence.
Then Mark’s response:
He asked me privately through app:
Would you support Mom seeing Lily if supervised?
I wrote:
Not yet.
He answered:
Okay.
For once.
May you like
No argument.
That single okay mattered more than his later ten-page affidavits.
