Chapter 15 - WHY SANClA NEEDED EVERYTHING TO BE EQUAL
Sancia and I were eighteen months apart.
Eleanor used to buy us identical Christmas gifts to stop fights.
Two red bicycles.
Two radios.
Two savings bonds.
Same amount.
Same wrapping.
Sancia learned:
Fairness means matching.
Then adulthood complicated it.
I had Maelle.
Sancia had Juniper.
Grandma gave based on needs.
Maelle needed tuition help once.
Juniper received dance-trip money another year.
Sancia counted.
Always.
She had a spreadsheet.
Not malicious initially.
Birthdays.
Christmas.
School.
Family vacations.
Then one line:
MAELLE HOUSING ADVANTAGE.
Estimated annual value.
I stared.
She had assigned a number to my discounted rent.
Then:
JUNIPER GRANDMA TIME DEFICIT.
Not money.
Hours.
Sancia had estimated how many nights Maelle saw Eleanor compared with Juniper.
That explained more than the deed.
Sancia believed closeness had become an unfair asset.
Then she tried to rebalance by selling the location where closeness happened.
That was not rational in a legal sense.
Emotionally consistent.
Then her divorce.
Owen said Sancia had done similar accounting in marriage.
Who took Juniper more weekends.
Who paid what.
Who “owed” holidays.
She turned relationships into ledgers because uncertainty frightened her.
Then Eleanor’s hip injury.
Suddenly future looked unstable.
House.
Care.
Inheritance.
Sancia’s old fairness machinery accelerated.
She thought:
Sell.
Liquidate.
Move Mom somewhere neutral.
Reimburse costs.
Remove Radnor’s housing advantage.
Then no one could quietly become favorite.
No one could “win” by proximity.
Then Maelle came home with medals.
At the party, Eleanor had asked someone to place them on the mantel for her video call.
Sancia saw:
Another public symbol of Maelle in Grandma’s house.
Juniper’s dance celebration became secondary in Sancia’s mind.
So she threw certificates away.
Put one medal on Juniper.
Then inhaler.
“Special treatment.”
All one worldview.
She was not trying to kill Maelle.
She was trying to strip away what she believed were unfair advantages.
Medical need included.
That made the act horrifying in a different way.
She had confused accommodation with favoritism.
Then Sancia’s therapist later wrote? Private. We should not know. Fine.
What we knew came from her deposition.
“Maelle gets accommodated everywhere.”
“Because she has asthma?”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“What did you mean?”
“Everyone bends.”
There.
Then:
“Would you deny Juniper an inhaler if she needed one?”
“No.”
“Then why Maelle?”
Sancia cried.
“I was angry.”
May you like
No deeper defense.
Good.
