Chapter 3 - The labor my mother missed
I did not nearly die in the dramatic way family stories later described.
There was no flatline.
No priest.
No doctor shouting that they were losing me.
But the delivery had been dangerous enough that the phrase survived labor did not feel theatrical to me.
I went into labor at thirty-nine weeks and one day.
Normal beginning.
Contractions.
Hospital.
Excitement.
Ben making bad jokes.
Fourteen hours later, Iris’s heart rate began dropping during contractions.
My labor stalled.
Doctors recommended cesarean delivery.
I agreed.
Iris was delivered healthy.
Six pounds, eleven ounces.
Then my uterus did not contract as effectively as expected.
Postpartum hemorrhage.
Medication.
Additional procedures.
Two units of blood.
A frightening amount of medical activity behind a surgical drape.
I remember asking:
“Is the baby okay?”
Over and over.
Ben said yes.
I remember shaking uncontrollably.
I remember a nurse putting another warm blanket across my shoulders.
I remember seeing Iris briefly before I became too nauseated to hold her.
I did not see Diane.
She knew I was having a C-section.
Ben texted the family.
Rachel sent:
OMG praying.
Mom sent:
Call when you can.
Three hours later, while I was in recovery, Diane texted Ben privately.
Not:
Is Elena stable?
She asked:
Do you know if Elena already sent Rachel the school money?
Ben did not show me until five days later.
I had been home twenty-four hours.
Iris was asleep.
I was crying because I could not stand up from the couch without pain.
Ben handed me his phone.
“I think you need to see this.”
I read the message.
Then another.
Diane:
Rachel’s automatic payment is Friday. Elena said she’d help.
Ben:
Elena is recovering from surgery and blood loss. We’ll discuss finances later.
Diane:
It takes thirty seconds to make a transfer.
I read that sentence six times.
Thirty seconds.
That was when something shifted.
Not because it was the first cruel thing Mom had ever done.
May you like
Because it removed all disguise.
My recovery was an inconvenience between Diane and access to my account.
