Chapter 22 - Julian finally apologizes
He requested one mediation session.
Not to reconcile.
To close a property issue? We had closed. He said personal.
Rebecca asked:
“Want to?”
“No.”
Then I changed to:
“One written statement first.”
Julian sent:
Lydia,
I believed your nursing salary was most of what you contributed day to day because I treated anything I could not see as irrelevant.
Good.
I also believed the Ashford money was passive inheritance and that my career was proof I was the serious one in our marriage.
Painfully accurate.
Then:
When you broke your leg, I was angry because Mom’s dinner mattered to people I wanted to impress, and I expected you to absorb the inconvenience.
There.
Then:
I said you would leave with nothing because I believed your wealth was something lawyers could expose as a trick and because I wanted you afraid enough not to leave.
That sentence mattered.
Then Apex.
I did not think of the company as yours. I thought of it as a system far above both of us. Finding out you chaired it made me feel humiliated, but the audit did not create the emails, invoices, or score changes.
Good.
Then:
I still think Apex treated me more harshly than some people.
Fair.
That is different from saying I did nothing wrong.
Better.
No request to remarry.
No demand for forgiveness.
I agreed to one mediated meeting.
Julian looked older.
“Your leg?”
“Healing.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“The hospital.”
“Be specific.”
He swallowed.
“For coming into your room and demanding you cook. For laughing when you said divorce. For saying you’d leave with nothing.”
“And Apex?”
“For treating access as something I could bend because family wanted it.”
“Did Evelyn make you?”
“No.”
Good.
Then:
“Do you hate her?”
“My mother?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Do you blame her?”
“For pressure. Not for my choices.”
Good.
I asked:
“Why did you never ask what I did at Apex?”
He laughed sadly.
“Because I liked the version where you were less important than me.”
There.
Nothing else needed to be said.
Meeting lasted thirty-six minutes.
No hug.
No tears from me.
Afterward Rebecca asked:
“Useful?”
“Yes.”
“Again?”
“No.”
Good.
Then Evelyn requested one of her own.
I declined.
May you like
Her relationship with me was different.
No need for matching ceremonies.
