Chapter 17 - Frank’s second apology
Dad’s second apology arrived through a voicemail.
“Rachel, I’m sorry you and Lily took the joke badly.”
Deleted.
Third:
“I’m sorry Lily got upset.”
Deleted.
Fourth came six months after the barbecue.
He called Ryan first.
Asked:
“What does she want me to say?”
Ryan answered:
“If you need a script, you’re not ready.”
I loved him for that.
Two weeks later, Dad sent a handwritten letter.
Not to Lily.
To me.
Rachel,
I burned that steak on purpose.
Good.
I had already joked in the family chat that I would give Lily a bad one.
Good.
I thought it would be funny because she had complained about steak before.
Good.
I also wanted to make a point that she does not get everything adjusted to her preference.
There.
I have believed you protect her from too much discomfort.
Good.
Then:
That belief did not give me a right to make her the joke.
I stopped reading.
Came back later.
When she cried, I laughed because I thought crying proved she needed to toughen up. Now I understand I was creating the exact distress and then blaming her for showing it.
There.
He addressed Ethan.
I also compared her to Ethan in a way that was unfair to both children.
Good.
Then me.
You threw the steak and hit me. You have taken responsibility for that. I used your reaction to avoid mine.
That mattered.
Finally:
I am sorry.
No demand for visitation.
No:
family should move on.
I sent back:
I received this. It is the first apology I am willing to consider accurate.
Not forgiveness.
May you like
Not access.
Accuracy.
