Chapter 20 - Lily’s first visit back
Lily did not see my parents for nine months.
Except once at Aunt Karen’s funeral? No funeral.
We saw them across a room at Cousin Ben’s wedding.
No direct visit.
At month nine, Lily asked:
“Can I see Grandma?”
Not Grandpa.
Interesting.
I asked why.
“I miss her pancakes.”
Children.
We discussed with Ryan.
Then with Lily’s counselor.
Short visit.
Public diner.
Me present.
Diane arrived early.
No gifts.
She looked terrified.
Lily sat beside me.
Grandma said:
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi.”
Silence.
Then Diane said:
“I need to tell you something about the barbecue.”
Lily looked at me.
I nodded.
Diane continued:
“I said something mean about what you deserved to eat.”
Lily’s face changed.
“Yes.”
“That was wrong.”
“Yes.”
“I also laughed when you were sad.”
“Yes.”
Diane swallowed.
“I should have helped you instead.”
Lily asked:
“Why didn’t you?”
Diane answered:
“Because I was more worried about proving Grandma was right than about how you felt.”
That was very therapy-language for a six-year-old.
Lily frowned.
“So you were being mean.”
“Yes.”
Better.
Then:
“Are you going to do it again?”
“No.”
Lily considered.
“Can I have pancakes?”
Diane laughed once.
Then checked herself.
Not at Lily.
At the simplicity.
“Yes.”
Pancakes.
No grand hug.
May you like
They ate.
Repair began with syrup.
