Chapter 21 - Lucas’s last counteroffensive
Lucas filed for equal parenting time.
True 50/50.
Week-on/week-off.
Noah was eight.
School same.
Both homes nearby.
Why not?
His lawyer argued:
Corporate misconduct unrelated to caregiving.
No domestic violence conviction.
No child abuse.
No substance problem.
Successful parenting for months.
The original coercive proposal should not become permanent punishment.
Strong argument.
My response:
Week-on/week-off too abrupt.
Lucas had used Noah’s residence as financial leverage.
He continued occasional boundary slips.
I had been primary scheduler/caregiver before separation? Was I? We need define. During marriage I handled more school/medical, Lucas mornings/sports. Yes.
Dr. Arden recommended:
Not 50/50 immediately.
Approximately 60/40.
Because:
Historical caregiving.
Noah’s expressed need for fewer transitions.
High-conflict communication improving but not yet low.
Then Lucas’s lawyer accused evaluator of gender bias.
Dr. Arden showed data.
No.
Then one surprise.
Lucas produced my work travel schedule.
I traveled two nights monthly.
He argued:
If Noah stays with Mom 60%, Grandma actually covers part.
True.
Mom handled some overnights.
Would that make Lucas better caregiver?
Maybe.
I had not thought about it.
I changed my work arrangement.
Could I?
Employer allowed remote participation for most travel.
I reduced to one night every other month.
Not because court demanded.
Because feasible.
Then Dana warned:
“Do not perform artificial lifestyle changes you cannot maintain.”
“I can.”
Then Lucas said:
“I don’t want Barbara raising my son.”
That angered me.
But beneath it:
He wanted his parenting time before grandparent substitute time.
Reasonable.
So final negotiation included:
Right of first refusal for overnight care over eight hours?
Could become intrusive.
We settled on:
If either parent needs overnight nonparent care, offer other parent first when practical, excluding routine planned activities.
Good.
Then Lucas dropped week-on/week-off.
Proposed:
Alternating weekends Thursday to Monday.
One midweek overnight.
Vacation.
Roughly 42%.
Close.
May you like
I could live with it.
Not signed yet.
