Chapter 7 - NINA’S CLOTHESReplacing the clothes took one afternoon.
Replacing what they represented took longer.
Nina did not want new things at first.
“I want mine.”
“I know.”
“Can we go get them?”
“We tried.”
“Grandma threw my underwear away too?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I had no answer that would make sense to an eight-year-old.
“She made a bad decision.”
“Because they were cheap?”
“She thought price mattered more than she should have.”
Nina looked at the yellow dress on my bed.
Monique had saved it.
“Why did Aunt Monique save Daddy’s dress but not the others?”
“She got that one out before the bags left.”
“Why not everything?”
Another difficult truth.
“She was scared to stop Grandma.”
“Grandma’s not scary.”
I almost said:
She can be.
Then stopped.
Nina had the right to reach her own understanding.
Instead:
“Adults can be scared of upsetting other adults.”
Nina considered this.
Then:
“Like when you slapped Vivian?”
I stared.
“What do you mean?”
“You were mad at Grandma and Grandpa too.”
Children will find the part you are hiding from yourself and point directly at it.
“Yes.”
She was right.
Vivian’s sentence triggered me.
But the anger had been accumulated by adults.
I discharged it into the easiest target sitting in front of me.
An eight-year-old.
I said:
“That is part of why what I did was wrong.”
Nina looked down.
“Vivian was mean.”
“Yes.”
“Do I have to forgive her?”
“No.”
“Do you have to?”
“No.”
Then:
“Do you have to say sorry?”
“Yes.”
May you like
She nodded.
The moral system of an eight-year-old was cleaner than the Mercer estate plan.
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