Chapter 6 - The first custody order
Judge Evelyn Hart did not award either of us the children.
She gave us a schedule.
Temporary.
Emma and Lily primarily stayed with me because:
They had been with me since separation.
School commute stable from Hannah’s.
Emma was distressed about returning to the marital home while Diane might appear.
Mark received:
Two weekday evenings.
Alternating weekends.
No overnight first two weeks for Emma if therapist recommended gradual contact?
The judge did not outsource everything to therapist. She ordered standard overnight schedule after a short transition unless parties agreed otherwise.
Lily started immediately.
Emma had one daytime visit first.
Then overnight.
No parent could disparage the other.
No discussing litigation or trust with children.
Diane:
No unsupervised contact.
Not because grandmother is inherently dangerous.
Because of recent cake incident and Emma’s distress.
Supervised contact only if Mark chose and Emma’s therapist/evaluator later considered appropriate.
Mark hated that.
“Mom didn’t hit anyone.”
Judge Hart said:
“I did not say she did.”
“She broke a cake.”
“She destroyed a child’s birthday cake while telling that child she did not deserve celebration because there was no son.”
Silence.
Then:
“This is temporary.”
Good.
No permanent condemnation.
Then house.
Temporary exclusive use to Mark?
Judge declined.
We jointly owned.
But practical arrangement:
Mark stayed until appraisal/sale or settlement.
I was not ordered back.
He paid mortgage from joint operating account.
I received temporary contribution for housing expenses at Hannah’s? Better, temporary family support based on incomes. We both had incomes.
My income:
$138,000 as senior product manager for an insurance software firm.
Mark:
$171,000 salary from Mercer Building Components plus variable bonus.
No spousal support temporarily.
Child expenses shared.
Then trust.
Judge Hart refused to decide trust investment in divorce hearing beyond parental representation.
“This court is not Harbor Fiduciary.”
Exactly.
She ordered:
Neither parent may execute new waivers or representation agreements affecting children’s trusts without notice to the other pending further order.
Harbor remained fiduciary.
Then Mark’s attorney said:
“The Legacy investment window closes in fourteen days.”
Judge:
“Then the trustee can manage its own deadline.”
No urgency manipulation.
Then outside court Mark approached me.
“You’re costing the girls money.”
“How?”
“North Coast is a good deal.”
“Then Harbor can invest without hiding your financial interest.”
“It wasn’t hidden.”
“You told me the packet was probably nothing.”
He looked away.
Then:
“You don’t understand private investments.”
“Then explain.”
“You already decided we’re villains.”
No.
He had decided explanation was optional.
Then Emma came out with Rebecca—my attorney? No, attorney shouldn't escort child. She was with my sister Hannah. Fine.
Mark stopped arguing.
Emma looked at him.
“Are you sorry?”
He froze.
For one second I thought he would answer correctly.
Then:
“I’m sorry your birthday got ruined.”
Emma’s face closed.
Not:
May you like
I’m sorry I said Grandma was right.
He still could not name it.
