Chapter 12 - THE FAMILY REUNION VIDEO

Several guests had recorded the patio.

I hated that.

But evidence mattered.

Video showed:

Thomasin tearing album.

Lowri dropping to knees.

Mother stepping on photograph.

My frame throw.

Thomasin falling.

No edits.

No ambiguity.

Then one earlier clip from same afternoon.

Before I arrived.

Thomasin holding the album.

Lowri reaching.

Thomasin saying:

“You can keep Daddy pictures.”

Then Mother:

“Leave the old ones.”

Old ones.

Carys.

Then Lowri:

“They’re Mommy.”

Mother:

“Exactly.”

That one word.

Exactly.

The message was not subtle.

Then another guest, my cousin Niall, testified he heard Mother say:

“By the wedding she needs to stop carrying Carys into every room.”

Wedding.

My planned marriage.

Lowri’s grief had been placed on a deadline.

Then my own messages with Mother.

HONORA:

You need a clean start before marrying Thomasin.

ME:

Lowri keeps Carys pictures.

HONORA:

Of course. But not everywhere.

ME:

We’ll decide what feels right.

HONORA:

If you leave it to a child, she’ll never let go.

I had not agreed.

But I had not challenged enough.

Then:

ME:

Stop moving things without asking.

There.

One boundary.

Mother replied:

Fine.

Then continued through Thomasin.

Again.

Circumvention.

Then I discovered one incident where I did act correctly.

Eight months earlier, Thomasin removed Carys’s coat from hall closet.

Lowri cried.

I told Thomasin to return it.

She did.

I then moved coat to storage myself with Lowri’s participation later.

Healthy.

The problem was not every change.

Homes change.

Objects move.

The problem was secrecy and replacement.

This distinction mattered in therapy.

We were not going to freeze our house at the date Carys died.

That would also trap Lowri.

So we began a memory project.

Not giant shrine.

One shelf.

Three photos.

Carys’s recipe card.

A small seashell from family vacation.

Lowri chose.

Other photos stayed in albums.

The rest of the house remained living space.

Balance.

Then Mother heard.

She sent message through counsel:

“That sounds healthier.”

I almost got angry.

She did not get to approve.

Then stopped.

It was only a sentence.

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Progress.