Chapter 16 - MOTHER’S MONEY DOES NOT BUY ACCESS
Mother tried to pay for Lowri’s therapy.
I said no.
Then reconsidered.
Why no?
Because money felt like control.
But was that automatic?
Mother offered no condition.
The counselor’s bills were significant but manageable.
I asked Naomi.
Could accept as reimbursement without access rights.
Yes.
Did I want?
No.
Not yet.
Then Mother offered to fund a college account.
Again.
No condition.
Could be normal grandmother behavior.
But timing bad.
I said:
“Not while visitation is under review.”
She became angry.
“Everything I do is suspicious now.”
“Yes.”
That was consequence.
Trust changes how neutral acts are received.
Then she said:
“So I am not allowed to love her.”
“No. You are not allowed to use generosity as evidence you deserve access.”
Silence.
She withdrew offer.
Good.
Then a month later, after visits stabilized, she sent Lowri a birthday book.
One.
No money.
Asked first.
Approved.
Progress.
Then family members pressured me.
“She’s your mother.”
“Lowri needs family.”
“Carys is gone.”
That last one ended conversations.
I set one rule:
No relative discussing whether Lowri should “move on.”
If they wanted relationship, they respected her pace.
Several complained.
Fine.
Then Meredith surprised me.
She apologized.
“I watched too much because Honora was always the one who decided what counted as family business.”
Again.
Silence culture.
Then she offered photographs.
Old originals of Carys that Mother had removed from reunion displays.
Lowri chose copies for album.
Good.
May you like
No hidden evidence.
Just memory.
