Chapter 23 - Odelia asks to see Grandma
Odelia was eight and a half when she asked.
“Is Grandma still not allowed?”
“Allowed what?”
“To see me.”
“She can see you in certain ways.”
“She hasn’t.”
Because I had not arranged it.
Because Caroline had not.
Because Morwenna was waiting.
“Do you want to?”
Odelia shrugged.
“I want to ask her something.”
We used Dr. Brooks’s office.
Morwenna sat across from Odelia.
No gifts.
Good.
Odelia began:
“Why did you put my lunch in trash?”
Morwenna swallowed.
“Because I was angry you wouldn’t eat it.”
“That’s gross.”
“Yes.”
“Did you want me to eat garbage?”
“No.”
“You said.”
“I wanted to humiliate you.”
Odelia looked at Dr. Brooks.
Then me.
Then Morwenna.
“What’s humiliate?”
Dr. Brooks let Morwenna answer.
“Make you feel embarrassed and small so you would obey me.”
Odelia nodded.
“That’s mean.”
“Yes.”
“Why record me?”
Morwenna’s face tightened.
“Because I wanted your mom and other adults to see you crying.”
“Why?”
“I thought it would help them believe you should live with Mommy.”
Odelia stared.
“So you made me cry because you wanted me to move?”
“Yes.”
There.
No child-friendly lie.
Then:
“Did Mommy tell you?”
“No.”
Important.
“Did Daddy?”
“No.”
“Did the judge?”
“No.”
Odelia considered.
“You did it by yourself.”
“Yes.”
Then the hardest question:
“Do you still want me to move?”
Morwenna looked at me.
I did not help.
She answered:
“I want what is good for you. I no longer think I get to decide that by myself.”
Good.
Not:
No.
Because maybe part of her still preferred Caroline.
She no longer converted preference into authority.
Odelia asked:
“Can we get ice cream?”
Morwenna cried.
Quietly.
“Yes.”
May you like
Supervised ice cream.
Repair.
