Chapter 20 - Claire’s choice
Claire’s therapist asked whether she wanted to visit Amanda before incarceration transport? Too late after sentencing. Could have been video from facility later. Let's instead supervised letter/video during pre-sentencing? Already. Post-sentencing, Amanda requested one video call.
Claire said no.
Tyler said yes.
Family court allowed therapeutic video for Tyler.
Five minutes.
Amanda wore facility-issued clothes? Non-graphic.
Tyler cried.
“Come home.”
Amanda said:
“I can’t right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I made choices that hurt you and Claire, and the court gave me a consequence.”
Good.
Then Tyler:
“Did Dad make court?”
“No.”
Important.
“Did Claire?”
“No.”
“Did I?”
“No.”
Then:
“I did.”
There.
Claire listened from hallway? Better not. She chose not to.
Then she asked me later:
“Did Mom blame you?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She nodded.
That mattered.
Then final custody evaluation.
Dr. Ellis recommendation:
I receive sole residential custody.
Legal decision-making?
Given Amanda incarcerated, temporary sole legal authority to me for ordinary decisions, with Amanda retaining information rights as allowed and future review after release.
No automatic termination of parental rights.
No adoption.
No permanent no-contact.
Amanda could seek graduated therapeutic contact after release based on each child separately.
Then my flaws in report:
I had become overly permissive with Claire out of guilt.
Let her skip chores.
Allowed sleeping in my room for months.
Tyler avoided water entirely because I reinforced fear.
Dr. Ellis recommended:
Trauma-informed but normal parenting.
Boundaries.
Swim therapy eventually.
I disliked that.
Then realized:
He was right.
Children needed safety, not a house organized around catastrophe.
Then Claire asked:
“If Mom comes back later, do I have to live with her?”
“No automatic change.”
“Do I have to visit?”
“A court may consider contact, but your feelings matter more as you get older.”
“Not yes or no.”
“No.”
May you like
She hated ambiguity.
So did I.
