Chapter 11 - THE NAME CLAIREFor weeks I believed Patricia slapped me because of Lily’s middle name.
That explanation was almost comforting.
Ridiculous grandmother.
Family-name obsession.
One stupid argument.
Then Rebecca told me the name was only the trigger.
Patricia’s fear had been building for months.
After Michael died, Daniel became the center of Patricia’s life.
Not romantically.
Not bizarrely.
Just structurally.
Daniel handled bills.
Repairs.
Insurance forms.
Medical appointments.
Holiday planning.
Rebecca lived across the country.
Daniel lived twenty minutes away.
Patricia began expecting access.
Sunday dinners.
Unannounced visits.
Opinions on our house.
Opinions on pregnancy.
Opinions on childbirth.
When I became pregnant, Daniel and I started making boundaries.
Call before visiting.
No staying overnight after the birth.
No hospital visitors during labor.
No kissing the baby.
Wash hands.
Vaccinations current.
Normal modern-parent things.
Patricia interpreted each boundary as me taking Daniel away.
Daniel interpreted her reaction as grief.
I interpreted his interpretation as annoying but harmless.
None of us dealt with the underlying thing.
Patricia believed closeness meant access.
If access decreased, she experienced it as rejection.
And when she experienced rejection, she became controlling.
Sometimes verbally.
Twice before, physically.
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Daniel knew the pattern.
He had never named it.
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