Chapter 22 - Vanessa’s letter to Lily
Vanessa requested permission to send an apology almost eighteen months later.
Dr. Hart advised:
“Read it first.”
I did.
Lily,
I did something cruel at your sixth birthday.
Good.
You offered me cake and I smashed it onto you because I was angry at your dad and jealous of the place you had in his life.
There.
You did not cause my jealousy.
Good.
You did not make your dad cancel the wedding.
Good.
Then:
I treated you like another adult competing with me.
You were six.
There.
I also said it was a joke afterward because I did not want to admit I had meant to embarrass you.
There.
And:
Your dad hitting me was his responsibility. It was not your responsibility either.
Excellent.
No triangulation.
No:
He chose you.
No:
I lost everything because of you.
Then:
I am sorry.
I asked Lily:
“Do you want to read a letter from Vanessa?”
She thought.
“Is it mean?”
“No.”
“Does she want to come back?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
She read.
Slowly.
Then:
“She was jealous of me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s weird.”
“Yes.”
“Do I have to write back?”
“No.”
“Can I draw on it?”
“Your letter.”
She drew a mustache on Vanessa’s signature.
Not therapeutic symbolism.
Seven-year-old humor.
Then put the letter in a drawer.
May you like
Months later, it disappeared.
I never asked where.
