Chapter 22 - Christine and me
We did not reconcile quickly.
For nine months, we lived separately.
Therapy.
Parenting coordination.
Supervised visits becoming ordinary visits.
Christine did individual trauma work focused on her family history.
I hated the phrase family trauma at first because it sounded like an excuse.
Then I learned explanations are only excuses when used to avoid responsibility.
Christine never said:
I froze because Dad made me, therefore I did nothing wrong.
She said:
I froze because that is what I learned, and because I am Jake’s mother, I have to learn something else.
Better.
One evening she told me:
“If we stay married, I need you to stop treating me like another suspect.”
I bristled.
Then realized I had.
I checked her statements.
Asked where she had been.
Read tone into pauses.
My old professional brain had converted marriage into pattern analysis.
She said:
“I failed Jake. I did not conspire with Dad.”
Correct.
I apologized.
Specific.
“You are not your father’s accomplice.”
She cried.
That was the beginning of us trying again.
May you like
Not moving home yet.
Trying.
