Chapter 6 - Why Lily’s seat mattered
The chair had become symbolic long before that morning.
I did not know.
At Diane’s house, Lily sat at the same chair because it faced the television in the adjoining family room.
Emma had sat there several times.
Lily did not care.
Vanessa did.
She believed Emma took things from Lily.
Attention.
Toys.
Grandmother’s affection.
Space.
That resentment came partly from the divorce.
Before separation, Vanessa and Owen had alternated holidays with Lily.
Afterward, Lily spent more time at Diane’s house during Vanessa’s custody weeks.
I also visited often with Emma.
Two granddaughters.
Four years apart.
Normally good together.
But Vanessa started saying:
“Emma gets away with everything because she’s little.”
Examples:
Emma touched Lily’s craft supplies.
Emma wanted the pink cup.
Emma interrupted.
Emma cried when she lost a game.
Normal preschool behavior.
Sometimes annoying.
Still four.
Vanessa interpreted each conflict through fairness.
Lily was expected to accommodate because she was older.
Vanessa hated that.
One evening months earlier, she told me:
“Your kid thinks every room belongs to her.”
I laughed.
“Every four-year-old thinks that.”
“That’s not cute.”
“I didn’t say cute.”
She stared.
I should have heard more in that conversation.
Instead I thought:
Vanessa is stressed.
Her marriage failed.
She’s defensive about Lily.
May you like
Give her grace.
Grace without boundaries sometimes becomes permission.
