Chapter 15 - Jason’s guilt
Jason came to my apartment because the children had been placed temporarily with me under an emergency kinship arrangement.
He was allowed supervised contact.
Not overnight.
Not yet.
He stood in my kitchen.
Did not sit.
“I knew she made them sleep downstairs.”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know she locked it.”
“I believe you.”
He looked almost relieved.
I continued:
“That does not make the rest okay.”
Relief disappeared.
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“I told her not all night.”
“You left them there anyway.”
“I thought it was discipline.”
“You thought making a three-year-old sleep in a basement because she cried was discipline?”
“It’s finished.”
“That is not the point.”
He shouted:
“I know!”
Maya woke in the next room.
We both froze.
Jason lowered his voice.
“I know.”
He started crying.
“I couldn’t do everything.”
There.
His truth.
Not cruelty.
Exhaustion plus avoidance.
He worked.
Rachel handled home.
Whenever something uncomfortable appeared, he chose the explanation that allowed him to continue working.
Amelia’s death had left debt.
Jason was terrified of failing financially.
So he failed another way.
May you like
That did not make him a monster.
It made him responsible.
