Chapter 10 - MY EMAILClaudia’s attorney produced an email I had sent her two months earlier.
Subject:
Sophie
My words:
I know she’s been difficult lately. I can’t keep undermining you every time she pushes back. While I’m traveling, please handle discipline however you think is reasonable, and I’ll support you when I’m home.
I read it three times.
However you think is reasonable.
My attorney, Grace Patel, said:
“You did not authorize abuse.”
“I handed her authority.”
“Parental authority is not permission to assault a child.”
“I know.”
“But?”
“I keep hearing Sophie saying Daddy isn’t here to rescue you.”
Grace waited.
I rubbed my eyes.
“I made Claudia the enforcement parent because I hated conflict.”
“That’s worth examining.”
“Yes.”
“It still doesn’t make you responsible for the scissors.”
“Yes.”
I hated how often two truths had to coexist.
In family court, Claudia’s attorney used the email to argue she had been acting within a disciplinary role I explicitly assigned.
The judge did not treat it as permission for forced haircutting.
But it mattered to the broader family picture.
I could not pretend I had been an omnipresent father suddenly invaded by a cruel stranger.
May you like
I had delegated.
Then failed to monitor what delegation became.
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