Chapter 23 - I STOP BUYING MY WAY OUTTherapy was rude.
Dr. Marcus Lee told me:
“You use providing as a substitute for tolerating emotional discomfort.”
I stared.
“I spend time with Sophie.”
“You do.”
“I read to her.”
“Yes.”
“I take her places.”
“Yes.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“When a problem becomes relationally difficult, you solve the logistical part.”
I hated him.
Then he listed examples.
Sophie struggled at bedtime.
I bought a sleep clock.
She resisted school.
I hired a tutor.
She missed Allison.
I bought a memory book.
She fought with Claudia.
I traveled and told Claudia to handle discipline.
Providing was not bad.
Avoiding was.
So I changed my work schedule.
Not retired.
Not abandoned Halcyon.
I reduced overnight travel.
Promoted an operations vice president I should have empowered earlier.
Some evenings Sophie still wanted my sister Caroline to watch her.
Good.
The lesson was not:
Never trust another caregiver.
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It was:
Delegation does not end responsibility.
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