Chapter 5 - THE FIRST THING I MISSEDThree months after the wedding, Sophie stopped wanting Claudia to brush her hair.
At the time, I thought it was independence.
“I can do it.”
She would take the brush from Claudia.
Claudia complained:
“She leaves knots.”
I said:
“Then let her.”
Claudia stared.
“You’re teaching her that basic grooming is optional?”
“She’s five.”
“That is exactly when habits form.”
I laughed.
Not cruelly.
Dismissively.
“Claudia, it’s hair.”
I remember her face.
Not angry.
Hurt.
I had undercut her.
That became part of our later marriage counseling.
I had a habit of stepping in only when discipline annoyed me, not when Claudia needed support establishing reasonable routines.
I wanted Claudia to parent without letting her truly parent.
That tension was real.
It did not justify what came later.
But if I wanted to understand our family, I had to admit the parts that made everyone easier to caricature.
Claudia became stricter.
Sophie resisted more.
I traveled.
Then I returned and wanted peace.
I told both of them:
“Can we please not turn everything into a battle?”
May you like
Peace became my contribution.
Which often meant whoever had more power won while I asked for quiet.
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